5-minute story draft + Flickr picture
January 4, 2008
12 a.m. I was just 12 but instead of cuddling under the soft sheets in my bed, I was still outside. My parents were not worried because they knew that that they just needed to peek through the window to see me down there on the brightly lit street, playing in the safe company of my friends. Often times those games were very engaging and closely mimicking the lives of the grown-ups that we admired so much at that time. Creativity and imagination were in the air, and we were good actors indeed. We would be professional vets helping injured pigeons one day, and explorers anxious to discover the mysteries of Egypt the other. Inspired by all the foreign movies we saw on TV, we once even imagined leading college lives in the USA. Years later, the last game translated to reality for me.
The descriptive language you use creates a powerful effect and a stunning image. I particularly like the text in the picture, as I feel it conveys your state of mind back then, when you were 12, while acknowledging the fact that you were only ‘mimicking’ — and your ‘real’ life was yet to come. Your picnic work suggests the possibility of a change, which is ultimately what your piece is about.
I also feel you are suggesting to the comfort and attachment you had with your friends and your childhood by using the word ’safe’ and ‘that we admired so much,’ and this makes the ultimate feeling of independence really stand out.
I enjoyed both listening to and reading this piece.